Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
