You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
