please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
