thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
