Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
