That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
