so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
