We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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