I cannot find my penis.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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