Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
