i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
don't judge my taste in strippers
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
