It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
