I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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