the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
