AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
