Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just threw up on my dentist
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
