i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
