so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
