I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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