i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Randomize
