Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
