The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
