Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
