Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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