she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
