they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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