it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
