all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize