Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
