Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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