You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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