I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
They are going to name an STD after you.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
