He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
