susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Randomize
