This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
