with your own penis?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize