Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
