Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
