Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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