I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
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