I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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