The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
