Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
