She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
