As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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