sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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