Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
