Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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