Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
