covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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