I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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