I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
