Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
