his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
