My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
