So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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