How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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