Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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