We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
