Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
