maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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