went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize