just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
