Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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