those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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