What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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